Deconstruction- Not a threat to the church, but an opportunity of healing.


I have Tik Tok (gasp!). Something that I have noticed as a theme that comes across my profile, quite often, are from those who deconstruct from Christianity.  I have been noticing that those who are deconstructing have been hurt by the church to the point that they do not know what is true to believe anymore. How can they believe in the loving God of Christianity, when those in power have brought hurt on those they are supposed to lead?



How can we, as Christians, help them journey toward healing instead of judging their crises of faith? Usually those who are in that season are angry. Digging through the anger is a tough journey, and I have been there. I know what it’s like to be angry and I remember having thoughts like: “Everything I believed must be a lie? I don’t want to give up on Jesus. I believe in him. But others who represent him have completely shown me a Jesus that I cannot get behind”. Those type of thoughts can be paralyzing. The fear of “losing my salvation” (whether you believe in that or not) became even more a reality. I felt my whole world shaken, and had panic attacks even at the thought of attending church again.

Many of the thoughts that enter the person’s mind can be used by the enemy to continue to hurt the individual and keep them running away from church. Church is not greater than God. A pastor is anointed to lead a church, but that is not an anointed to the level equal to God. A pastor is a human. They are fallible and WILL make mistakes. I know I have. It’s unfortunately part of our sinful human nature.


If you are in a wonderful opportunity to help others who are on that journey, you can do a few things that are beneficial.

1.    Don’t take sides. Even if the pastor was wrong, it is important to remember that this person needs support, encouragement, love, and not additional fuel to the fiery anger they feel within- even if the anger is justified. The Word of God teaches us “If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.” (Romans 12:8, ESV)

2.    Listen to the individual. Don’t just listen to respond but listen to understand. “Let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God. ” (James 1:19-20) In their anger or pain, they might not be able to hear very clearly, so the ownness is on you. Listen to understand and help the individual feel safe with you.

3.    Keep it confidential. Do not go to the church leader yourself to try and solve this. The person on this journey needs time to reconcile their pain with the truth.

4.    Remind them that the pastor/leader is not God. The truth is Jesus is not the one that caused the pain or hurt. The person who hurt them will be held accountable by God for their actions or inactions.

5.    If the issue they bring forward warrants an appeal to the church board, or however that congregation’s accountability is set up, offer to go with them as support. Don’t go with an agenda to bring the other person down, but to bring it to the authority whose job is to hold leadership accountable.

6.    Don’t feel you are absolutely responsible for the actions that the pastor/leader, or the person who was hurt will take.

7.    Pray for and with them. Pray with them while they are confessing what’s happening. Pray for them when they are not in your presence.

8.    Remember that this takes time. Do not expect for the person to find healing after one time of talking with you about it. I know on my own journey I still struggle with moments of grief and anger. I have to do my best to remember that justice is in God’s hands.


My journey of deconstruction is as unique as the next person’s. I never lost faith in Jesus, but I lost sight on how to trust others who call themselves Christians, especially leaders. Through counseling I am way better today than I was a year and a half ago as I was finishing my Master of Divinity degree. I can say that today, my faith in Jesus is stronger than ever and my loyalty to leadership is where it should have been years ago- not being blindly loyal to any one person or group. God used this journey to strengthen me and to experience His healing nature, His grace for others and I feel more loved by God now than ever before.

A final note is that deconstruction can turn into glory for God. If there is a problem with leadership, God will turn it towards good (Romans 8:28) IF we ask Him to and then allow God time to make it right. We do not take matters into our own hands, and we must encourage someone who is going through this process to keep their faith in God. God, being the King of justice, will handle any due justice His way and in His time. That is probably the hardest lesson for me to remember as I recover from my own deconstruction journey. 

Bird on A Pole

By Eileen Glotfelty • October 24, 2026
This story started one evening as I was visiting family in Colorado. I was sitting on their deck which looks out onto the foothills of the Rocky Mountains. Usually when I sit outside, my gaze is fixed on the mountains, but not this day. There is a church building on the other side of their backyard fence, and as I was looking out over the prairie behind it, something caught my eye. In the parking lot there was a flag pole. It stood about 25 feet high. At the top of the flagpole was a metal ball. My eye kept getting drawn back to that ball because I thought I saw something moving. I took out my cell phone camera and zoomed in on it. Turns out it was a little bird. As I watched this little creature, I was fascinated. The surface of the ball was not much bigger than the size of his body but there he sat like he didn't have a care in the world. He felt safe. I told God I wanted that kind of confidence. After a few minutes, I looked up and the bird was gone. In that moment I heard the Lord speak to my heart and say, “You already have everything you need to spread your wings and fly.” The only difference between me and that little bird was, he believed it. Each of us has a calling or a purpose. Mine is to share lessons I have learned to offer hope and encouragement to others. I didn't accept it for a long time because I felt unworthy. How could someone so broken be used to help others? It's because there is a God in heaven who loves us and created us for such a time as this. We don't have to be perfect. God uses the broken and the weak to shame the strong. He looks at the heart and only asks that we be willing. We just need to take that first step. My step may be different from yours and some of us will take baby steps, and that's ok. We will still be moving forward. So my friend, I'm talking to myself as I encourage you. We already have everything we need so let's lift up our heads, give Him the fear, the guilt, the shame, and spread our wings and fly!

The Last Straw

By Eileen Glotfelty • September 20, 2026
It was November 2001. The world was still reeling from grief with the effects of 911. Even though my world wasn't affected by 911, it was still reeling in grief.  The love of my life was lying in the hospital on a ventilator living out his last days. I didn't know how many were left and I was clinging to the fact that it wasn't too late for a miracle. On that particular day, I had gone to be with him. Every time I went, I would stand by his bedside and read Psalm 91 to him as tears rolled down my face. Psalm 91 talks about God being our refuge and our strength and how He covers us. He likens it to a bird tucking his young under his wing to protect it. It goes on to say how He gives us angels to guard us and toward the end He says, “He will call on Me and I will answer him. I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him.” (Psalm 91:4, 15 NIV) I didn't realize how I would soon see those words come to pass. When I left the hospital, I got in our old car that someone had graciously given us. It had seen its better days, but we were thankful. On that night, however, the engine decided not to turn over. It was the last straw and I sat there with grief and despair washing over me. I couldn't even begin to think what to do. It was maybe a few minutes later that I looked up to see a friend from church walking toward my car. She had come to visit my husband and saw me sitting there. She knew her way around cars and she was familiar with mine. Within five minutes she had me open the trunk and pushed a button that I didn't know existed. The car started immediately. Apparently it was a safety feature of some kind that cut off fuel to the engine. To say I was grateful is an understatement. Some would say it was a coincidence, but I say it was my God tucking me under His wing and delivering me in trouble. He led that woman who knew about the button in the trunk to be there at the right time. He saw my pain. He knew I had reached my limit, and He met me in my grief and despair. I hope my story will encourage you if you are facing an impossible situation. God knows. He never takes His eyes off of you. I learned that my last straw is not His. He will tuck you under His wing and bring you through.

Key to the Heart

By Eileen Glotfelty • August 9, 2026
Keys, you never see their significance until you lose one. A few years ago I was downsizing from a large home to a smaller, more manageable one. I lived in that house for 20 years and now that the kids were grown and gone, it was time to let it go. As I was sorting through years worth of “stuff,” I came across an old can full of keys. At one point, each of those keys had a specific purpose. Some unlocked doors, some unlocked cars and some unlocked things that are still a mystery to this day, but each one unlocked something that needed to be protected and kept safe. As I sat there looking at this container of keys, I had to decide whether to keep them in the hope that they would still be needed some day or to accept the fact that since they had been sitting in that can for years, unused, it was ok to throw them out. I chose the latter. All of us are holding onto a key, whether we realize it or not. It’s the key to our heart. That key is a precious gift. It was meant to be opened by one person and when we put it in the wrong hands, we walk away disappointed and broken. I’ve been there. Maybe you have too. I was reading in the book of Mark, Chapter 11, verse 17 (NIV), about Jesus turning over the tables in the marketplace. I used to think that it was because He was so offended that He let His anger take over. That’s true, but what He was actually doing was restoring order. A sacred place that He loved was being turned into “a den of robbers,” as Jesus called it. Something that was precious and sacred was being defiled and He was taking it back and making it right. This story made me see that it’s never too late to take back the key from those who didn’t deserve it and give it to the One who gave it to me. Jesus handed it to me when He died on the cross and He’s given me the choice to return it. Why haven’t I done it before this? Truthfully, it’s because I was afraid. I wanted control and I thought by giving it to Him, He would ask me to do things out of my comfort zone and love people that I didn’t want to love. I gave my key to the people I thought I could control and I would be safe. I’ve lived my life in chaos because of it. So Jesus, I give you the key to my heart. It’s rusty and bent Lord, but I know You can restore it. Forgive me for giving it to those who didn’t deserve it and looking for the love that only You could give me. Open my heart to Your will and put the broken pieces back together. If tables need to be turned over, turn them over. I surrender control to You. Help me to trust You and love You with all my heart.