Deconstruction- Not a threat to the church, but an opportunity of healing.


I have Tik Tok (gasp!). Something that I have noticed as a theme that comes across my profile, quite often, are from those who deconstruct from Christianity.  I have been noticing that those who are deconstructing have been hurt by the church to the point that they do not know what is true to believe anymore. How can they believe in the loving God of Christianity, when those in power have brought hurt on those they are supposed to lead?



How can we, as Christians, help them journey toward healing instead of judging their crises of faith? Usually those who are in that season are angry. Digging through the anger is a tough journey, and I have been there. I know what it’s like to be angry and I remember having thoughts like: “Everything I believed must be a lie? I don’t want to give up on Jesus. I believe in him. But others who represent him have completely shown me a Jesus that I cannot get behind”. Those type of thoughts can be paralyzing. The fear of “losing my salvation” (whether you believe in that or not) became even more a reality. I felt my whole world shaken, and had panic attacks even at the thought of attending church again.

Many of the thoughts that enter the person’s mind can be used by the enemy to continue to hurt the individual and keep them running away from church. Church is not greater than God. A pastor is anointed to lead a church, but that is not an anointed to the level equal to God. A pastor is a human. They are fallible and WILL make mistakes. I know I have. It’s unfortunately part of our sinful human nature.


If you are in a wonderful opportunity to help others who are on that journey, you can do a few things that are beneficial.

1.    Don’t take sides. Even if the pastor was wrong, it is important to remember that this person needs support, encouragement, love, and not additional fuel to the fiery anger they feel within- even if the anger is justified. The Word of God teaches us “If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.” (Romans 12:8, ESV)

2.    Listen to the individual. Don’t just listen to respond but listen to understand. “Let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God. ” (James 1:19-20) In their anger or pain, they might not be able to hear very clearly, so the ownness is on you. Listen to understand and help the individual feel safe with you.

3.    Keep it confidential. Do not go to the church leader yourself to try and solve this. The person on this journey needs time to reconcile their pain with the truth.

4.    Remind them that the pastor/leader is not God. The truth is Jesus is not the one that caused the pain or hurt. The person who hurt them will be held accountable by God for their actions or inactions.

5.    If the issue they bring forward warrants an appeal to the church board, or however that congregation’s accountability is set up, offer to go with them as support. Don’t go with an agenda to bring the other person down, but to bring it to the authority whose job is to hold leadership accountable.

6.    Don’t feel you are absolutely responsible for the actions that the pastor/leader, or the person who was hurt will take.

7.    Pray for and with them. Pray with them while they are confessing what’s happening. Pray for them when they are not in your presence.

8.    Remember that this takes time. Do not expect for the person to find healing after one time of talking with you about it. I know on my own journey I still struggle with moments of grief and anger. I have to do my best to remember that justice is in God’s hands.


My journey of deconstruction is as unique as the next person’s. I never lost faith in Jesus, but I lost sight on how to trust others who call themselves Christians, especially leaders. Through counseling I am way better today than I was a year and a half ago as I was finishing my Master of Divinity degree. I can say that today, my faith in Jesus is stronger than ever and my loyalty to leadership is where it should have been years ago- not being blindly loyal to any one person or group. God used this journey to strengthen me and to experience His healing nature, His grace for others and I feel more loved by God now than ever before.

A final note is that deconstruction can turn into glory for God. If there is a problem with leadership, God will turn it towards good (Romans 8:28) IF we ask Him to and then allow God time to make it right. We do not take matters into our own hands, and we must encourage someone who is going through this process to keep their faith in God. God, being the King of justice, will handle any due justice His way and in His time. That is probably the hardest lesson for me to remember as I recover from my own deconstruction journey. 

A Red Sky

By Eileen Glotfelty • July 27, 2026
Having been raised in the “Steel City,” the only red skies I knew growing up were filled with the red dust of the steel mills. The first time I saw a real sunset was as an adult visiting the Jersey Shore. From that day on. I was hooked. Any chance I got to see a sunset, I was there. Recently, I returned from a trip to the Finger Lakes in upstate NY. It was our last day and we had plans to visit one of the lakes so my granddaughters could go swimming. Unfortunately the weather did not cooperate and left us with a cloudy, windy day. We switched to Plan B which was also nice but we were still a little disappointed. Part of our plan involved some sight seeing and shopping at an Amish Market (and yes, we did buy some Whoopie pies). After that we went back to the farm where we were staying so the girls could visit the barn animals one more time. The day before we were talking to another guest and they raved about the beautiful sunsets they had seen there. I had hoped we would see one that last night, but as I said before, the weather didn't look promising. In order to get to the barn, we had to walk out to a gravel road beyond the trees and down the hill. As we stepped out onto the road, I was happy to see the sun peeking through the clouds. I watched the sun turn that sliver of sky into shades or orange and pink and I was thankful for the view. When we reached the bottom of the hill, my daughter and the girls went to the barn but I stood in the road admiring the sky before me one more time. I walked over to the barn briefly but I'm not a fan of goats and chickens roaming loose, so when they decided to come visit me, I decided it was time for me to leave. I took another route back to our room which involved walking through a grassy field. I was half the way up when something told me to turn around. What I saw made my mouth drop and I did an about face and almost ran back to the road (notice I said. ‘almost’ ran.”) In the short time I had walked through the field, the sky had changed dramatically and had opened up to show the glory of its Creator. There in front of me were brilliant hues of pink, orange, red and purple. They bounced off every cloud and filled the sky. In all my years of sunsets, I had never witnessed one like this. I stood taking pictures until it disappeared. As I walked back to my room, I asked God how that happened. I felt as if He did it for me just to see the delight on my face. The following Sunday, I went to my church and the Pastor used this quote in his sermon. “Red skies at night. A sailor's delight.” He said he had met a naval man traveling on the same airplane. They saw a beautiful sunset to which the man had mentioned the quote. When I came home, the quote and the sunset kept coming back to me so I did a little research. To sum it up, a red sky at night can signify that a storm has passed and is no longer a threat. That spoke to me. My life has been a series of storms. Lately, a big one has been raging at hurricane proportions. I have prayed, I have cried and have been full of fear for the outcome. That sunset gave me peace. God is a merciful God. He reminded me, once again, that He was with me in the storm and even if I'm not seeing the red skies of night, it doesn't change the fact they are coming. Lord, right now the storm is raging. I need You. Help me to keep my eyes on You. You are with me and You always have been. Guard my heart and help me keep my eyes on You. Thank you for the beautiful red sky that gave me hope again.

It's Not The End

By Eileen Glotfelty • May 23, 2026
Are you one of those people who like to read the end of the story before finishing the book? This morning I've been sitting here feeling overwhelmed by life. There are things that are out of my control and a lot of uncertainty. For someone who likes to have a plan, it's my worst nightmare. God's word says that He finishes what He starts and He will complete the good work in me (Philippians 1:6 NIV). I struggle with that when I can't see the finish line. God's word also says He's the Alpha and the Omega which means He is the beginning and the end (Rev 22:13 NIV). To me, that means that He sees it all. He knew where I would be on any given day. He knew my circumstances before I did, but unlike me, He's not worrying and overcome with anxiety because He sees the end. So, once again, I have a choice to make. I can sit here overwhelmed because I can't see the way out, or, I can trust the One who can. Will I choose hope or despair? This leads me to faith which is choosing to believe even though we can't see the outcome. I had to ask myself where I was putting my faith. Hope and faith work together. No amount of striving can earn them. Each one of us has access to them. All we have to do is ask the One who freely gives. Jesus, I know you've written my story and You know how it ends. Everything in this life is temporary. Even though I can't see the end, help me to rest in the fact that You do and I can trust You with my life.

The Lost Sheep

By Eileen Glotfelty • May 11, 2026
A few weeks ago I shared about my estranged child. Mother's Day came and went without a word. I spent the day wondering/hoping I would hear something. I didn't expect a phone call but maybe a text. I told myself not to have any expectations, but I still did. I was almost angry at myself for thinking maybe this year would be different. This morning I sat here talking to the Lord. He wants me to be honest with Him so I didn't try to hide the sorrow and the rejection. I told Him I was hurt and I had to forgive my child once again. He reminded me that I had three other children who hadn't forgotten me and made me feel loved and honored, so why was the rejection of one so painful? It was then I remembered the story of the lost sheep. For those of you who aren't familiar with it, it's about a shepherd who has a flock of a hundred sheep. One of them goes astray and the shepherd leaves the ninety-nine to go find it. It was a gentle reminder that He will never give up on my child and He loves Him more than I could imagine. In the same way, God will never give up on any of us. No matter how much we run or push Him away, He will never leave us. I needed that encouragement, maybe you do too.