Deconstruction- Not a threat to the church, but an opportunity of healing.


I have Tik Tok (gasp!). Something that I have noticed as a theme that comes across my profile, quite often, are from those who deconstruct from Christianity.  I have been noticing that those who are deconstructing have been hurt by the church to the point that they do not know what is true to believe anymore. How can they believe in the loving God of Christianity, when those in power have brought hurt on those they are supposed to lead?



How can we, as Christians, help them journey toward healing instead of judging their crises of faith? Usually those who are in that season are angry. Digging through the anger is a tough journey, and I have been there. I know what it’s like to be angry and I remember having thoughts like: “Everything I believed must be a lie? I don’t want to give up on Jesus. I believe in him. But others who represent him have completely shown me a Jesus that I cannot get behind”. Those type of thoughts can be paralyzing. The fear of “losing my salvation” (whether you believe in that or not) became even more a reality. I felt my whole world shaken, and had panic attacks even at the thought of attending church again.

Many of the thoughts that enter the person’s mind can be used by the enemy to continue to hurt the individual and keep them running away from church. Church is not greater than God. A pastor is anointed to lead a church, but that is not an anointed to the level equal to God. A pastor is a human. They are fallible and WILL make mistakes. I know I have. It’s unfortunately part of our sinful human nature.


If you are in a wonderful opportunity to help others who are on that journey, you can do a few things that are beneficial.

1.    Don’t take sides. Even if the pastor was wrong, it is important to remember that this person needs support, encouragement, love, and not additional fuel to the fiery anger they feel within- even if the anger is justified. The Word of God teaches us “If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.” (Romans 12:8, ESV)

2.    Listen to the individual. Don’t just listen to respond but listen to understand. “Let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God. ” (James 1:19-20) In their anger or pain, they might not be able to hear very clearly, so the ownness is on you. Listen to understand and help the individual feel safe with you.

3.    Keep it confidential. Do not go to the church leader yourself to try and solve this. The person on this journey needs time to reconcile their pain with the truth.

4.    Remind them that the pastor/leader is not God. The truth is Jesus is not the one that caused the pain or hurt. The person who hurt them will be held accountable by God for their actions or inactions.

5.    If the issue they bring forward warrants an appeal to the church board, or however that congregation’s accountability is set up, offer to go with them as support. Don’t go with an agenda to bring the other person down, but to bring it to the authority whose job is to hold leadership accountable.

6.    Don’t feel you are absolutely responsible for the actions that the pastor/leader, or the person who was hurt will take.

7.    Pray for and with them. Pray with them while they are confessing what’s happening. Pray for them when they are not in your presence.

8.    Remember that this takes time. Do not expect for the person to find healing after one time of talking with you about it. I know on my own journey I still struggle with moments of grief and anger. I have to do my best to remember that justice is in God’s hands.


My journey of deconstruction is as unique as the next person’s. I never lost faith in Jesus, but I lost sight on how to trust others who call themselves Christians, especially leaders. Through counseling I am way better today than I was a year and a half ago as I was finishing my Master of Divinity degree. I can say that today, my faith in Jesus is stronger than ever and my loyalty to leadership is where it should have been years ago- not being blindly loyal to any one person or group. God used this journey to strengthen me and to experience His healing nature, His grace for others and I feel more loved by God now than ever before.

A final note is that deconstruction can turn into glory for God. If there is a problem with leadership, God will turn it towards good (Romans 8:28) IF we ask Him to and then allow God time to make it right. We do not take matters into our own hands, and we must encourage someone who is going through this process to keep their faith in God. God, being the King of justice, will handle any due justice His way and in His time. That is probably the hardest lesson for me to remember as I recover from my own deconstruction journey. 







By Eileen Glotfelty March 13, 2026
Today I had an errand to do on the other side of town. When I left my house, it was warm and sunny. As I drove toward my destination, I noticed dark, gray clouds up ahead. I had no idea it was supposed to rain. Thankfully I was in the store when the storm rolled in. It was literally a downpour complete with thunder and lightning. I remember thinking I wouldn't be going to my car any time soon. Unfortunately the extended time in the store resulted in some overspending. As I stood in the checkout line. I overheard one of the cashiers say. “I love thunderstorms.” As a child, I loved them too, especially if I was already tucked in bed for the night. I can't explain it but that was the time I felt the most safe. There was something peaceful amidst all the noise. I still feel the same way. Tonight another thunderstorm rolled in. The weather forecast said it could be severe with high winds. I wasn't afraid. In fact. If it wasn't so early, I would've jumped into bed. I had to ask myself why I felt such peace during a storm. I never really thought about it before. Was it the fact I knew that despite all the drama and noise, it would eventually come to an end? It's something I need to think about because my attitude is quite the opposite with the storms of life. I've spent most of my life just trying to survive the storms. Sometimes I've denied them, other times I've tried to run from them and there were times I tried to hide from them but each time, they stopped or moved on. I feel like I'm in a place right now where I need a reminder of safety even in the midst of a storm. Jesus wasn't afraid of the storm, He went right into it and walked on water. Peter got out of the boat and started walking toward him but as soon as he got distracted by the waves and the noise, he started to sink and fear tried to take over. Jesus was still there and when Peter cried out to Him, Scripture says Jesus immediately reached out and grasped Peter's hand and Peter was safe. So Jesus, the storm is raging all around. I'm reaching out to You. I've gotten distracted Lord. I need You. Make me aware when I'm sinking and meet me in the waves for You are my help and You are enough.
By Eileen Glotfelty February 14, 2026
Valentine's Day has always been my favorite holiday. I remember walking past the candy shop in town as a child and seeing all the beautiful heart boxes in the window. One box always caught my eye. It was a huge red heart at least two feet long. It was covered with red silk roses and a red frilly ribbon around the edge. To me it was a symbol of love. I dreamed of the day someone would give it to me. I met the love of my life unexpectedly. He was the kindest, most loving man I ever knew. Not only did he love me, he loved me unconditionally. This was a new concept for me. I was used to giving something to get something, but with him, I didn't have to give anything. He gave of himself and didn't expect anything in return. He showed me what true love was all about. He showed me God's love. We celebrated many Valentine's Days together. There were years we didn't have two nickels to rub together and he would make me handmade cards and paint wooden hearts red with a gold, glittery “I Love You” written on the front. There was one year when the single ladies from our church volunteered to watch the kids so the moms and dads could have a night out. We didn't have the money to do anything fancy so we picked up a meal from Boston Market and went back to our “empty” house. We watched a movie, uninterrupted, and then put on some music and spent time slow dancing. It was my favorite Valentine's Day of all time. When I think back to that time of walking past the candy store, I realized I didn't need a fancy red heart to make me feel loved. I received all the love I could have ever imagined from a man who made me cards and danced with me around the family room. What I've learned is I can still have my dreams but if it doesn't work out the way I thought, God has something better, and if I can lean into that and trust Him, it'll be more than enough because He is enough. Happy Valentine's Day!
By Eileen Glotfelty January 16, 2026
I was married to a fisherman, an avid fisherman. Almost as soon as we were engaged, he was planning our dream honeymoon on the shores of Chandos Lake in Canada. He was eight years old when his parents bought property around the lake and built a log cabin. He spent every summer there and that's where his love of fishing began. Whether he was standing on the shore or in a boat on the water, he spent countless hours doing what he loved. I'll never forget that first week. I knew I was in trouble the minute we arrived. There were two ways to get to the cabin. One was by boat (which we were towing), or maneuvering our car around boulders on a dirt road. We docked the boat at a small marina and drove to the cabin. I have to admit, my first view of the cabin was breathtaking. It was situated on a point where a bay joined the main part of the lake. Inside there was a wood burning stove and blue gingham curtains hung on the windows. My one challenge was the lack of indoor plumbing. I have to admit I was horrified when he threw a hose into the lake and connected it to a pump! We spent the rest of the day unpacking and settling in. It wasn't until the next morning I realized my husband's love for fishing was more like an addiction. I woke up to a beautiful sunny morning. As a new bride, I was adjusting to the joy of waking up to find the man I loved lying beside me, only this day, there was no man. Instead I found a note and a foghorn. Unbeknownst to me, he had risen before sunrise and headed out on the lake. The note he left simply said, “Went fishing. Stand on the shore and blow the fog horn and I'll come in. I love you!” Needless-to-day, I was not impressed; however, he was a man of his word and came in when I blew the foghorn. I had never been one for the great outdoors so I had to make a decision. I finally decided, “if you can't beat em, join em.” This involved learning how to fish. The first step was going to the bait shop. I couldn't even imagine touching anything slimy so when my eyes landed on some black, rubber worms, with hot pink tails, I told myself, “You can do this!” My husband laughed and shook his head but with my rubber worms in hand, we headed out to the lake. Step two involved learning how to cast. The better the cast, the more chance of success…or so I was told. My husband happily shifted into teaching mode and explained the finer art of casting. It's definitely not as easy as it looks. It took technique and focus but equally important was knowing where to cast. After several attempts, I made a successful cast. Now the hard part…the waiting! It was during the waiting that I heard the story of “the big one that got away.” Apparently there was a large mouth bass that was bigger than the rest. He was the Grandpappy of the lake and many had tried and failed to conquer him. I don't remember if it was this first fishing trip or the next but all I know is the fish were biting and I started reeling them in with my black rubber worms. Once again, God was in control. We had been out there a little while so it would soon be time to call it a day. Suddenly there was a tug on my line. It didn't feel the same as the others. This was a big one. He gave me quite a fight and I was screaming my head off while my husband grabbed a net. As I reeled in my catch, we could hardly believe it. I had caught the Grandpappy with a rubber worm! Needless-to-say, I gloated after the shock wore off. One other thing I learned with casting my line was the importance of adding a weight near the hook. The weight enables the hook to sink below the surface enabling the success of the catch. It's the same when we cast our cares on the Lord. It's about giving him not only the situation, but the weight of it that we are not meant to carry. He says it in His Word: Psalms 55:22 NIV Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken. Today I found myself casting and recasting. Some things are harder to let go of than others, but as I kept giving it to him, I felt the weight lift off my shoulders My prayer went something like this. “Lord, I need You to help me. This is a big one. It runs deep. I don't want to hold onto it and I'm casting it on you.” Even though the situation didn't change, it felt different. There was peace in the waiting. One last thing…the next time we went to the bait shop, guess who bought some black rubber worms?