From Knowing God to Believing in God

For many years I have been involved in ministry, from teaching Sunday School, to working on the staff of a church, to now running a counseling ministry. I knew a lot about God. I knew the Bible said that He loves me and that He sent His son to die for my sins so I could have access to Him. I knew that the Bible says He will never leave me or forsake me. I knew all the verses on fear and anxiety. Cast them on Him because He cares for me and come to Him when I am burdened and He will give me rest. Fear not for I am with you. Perfect love casts out all fear. Even if I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I don’t need to fear. I knew them all; memorized them, quoted them and prayed about them. With all this knowledge why then did I worry about everything? Why did I get mad when I couldn’t control certain circumstances? Why did I have fears that were sometimes paralyzing? I would take my scriptures and I would pray my little heart out. Please God, take away my fear and help me, Lord, not to stress over tomorrow. Help me, Lord, not to wake up in the middle of the night in a panic because I wasn’t sure if I said the wrong thing to someone or maybe a made a mistake at work or better yet, what if I got fired? I have seen God’s hand in my life and how He stepped in and turned me around. I have seen how He was using the things the enemy meant for evil and now He was getting the glory. I saw how He saved my marriage and taught me how to love my daughter and how to love my husband even when I didn’t “feel” like it. Yep, what was I missing? I knew all the right scriptures, but I still lived in a life of negative thinking, fear and worry. It just didn’t make sense to me. I didn’t know what else I needed to do. 

I had also been in a process of learning why I was struggling. Growing up I didn’t know what it was like to be loved or to have someone in my life that thought the world of me or someone I could trust that would always be there when I needed them. I always felt alone and scared of life. So, when people would tell me to “Trust God”, I would intellectually tell myself that I need to trust God, but how? I would literally beg God to show me who He was. I wanted to really know (heart know) Him. 

One day, I had a strong feeling I should read the Old Testament with a purpose! I knew it must be God impressing this upon my heart as reading the Old Testament was a difficult task for me. I didn’t understand it and I didn’t really see its relevance in my life for today. But I felt as if I was supposed to start reading and write down every time I saw God active in the Israelites lives. I believe I may have started in Kings; I don’t really remember where I started but I was blown away by how often God was involved in everything they were doing. Sometimes, He would put thoughts in their minds, and sometimes, He would put thoughts in the minds of others about them. He would provide for them and be with them to fight battles that were impossible to fight to the human eye. He would protect them from enemies, and He would allow them the consequences for their disobedience. I just kept writing and writing to the point that I had to just start underlining because I was constantly writing!

Then I got it! I remember closing my Bible and I said, “ok Lord! In the Old Testament, the Israelites were Your children. You are God and You can choose whoever You want. But now You say that You have chosen me. I have been grafted in and You have made a way for me to be Your child. And if You are that active in the Israelites lives, then You want to be that active in mine.” It was that moment that I took what I knew in my head and decided to believe it. God is not earthly, He is God. He is perfect and His love for me is perfect. I didn’t have to ask God to help me not to worry because He told me not to worry. I didn’t have to ask God to be with me because He told me in His Word that He is with me, and He will never leave me or forsake me. I don’t have to ask God to take my burdens from me, I can just give them to Him and then I can expect He will give me rest because He said He would. I don’t have to ask God to help me not to have fear because He told me I don’t have to fear. That day my life forever changed. God is active in my life, every part of my life. He knows everything about me, and He sees every decision and path I choose. I trust Him to guide me in the way He wants to guide and lead me. I can now see God in all that I do. He is faithful even when I am not!

For years I imagined God as a person; a sinful human being who would only disappoint me, punish me and judge me. God is spirit (John 4:24). My favorite verse is Psalm 139:7-12:

Where can I go from your Spirit?

Where can I flee from your presence?

If I go up to the heavens, you are there;

if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.

If I rise on the wings of the dawn,

if I settle on the far side of the sea,

even there your hand will guide me,

Your right hand will hold me fast.

If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me

and the light become night around me,”

even the darkness will not be dark to you;

the night will shine like the day,

for darkness is a light to you.

I write this to encourage you on your journey. If you struggle, as I did for many years, with knowing about God, in your head, but not believing him, in your heart, tell him! He already knows and He will lead you to a place where He will reveal to you who He is. (Luke 11:10)

Bird on A Pole

By Eileen Glotfelty • October 24, 2026
This story started one evening as I was visiting family in Colorado. I was sitting on their deck which looks out onto the foothills of the Rocky Mountains. Usually when I sit outside, my gaze is fixed on the mountains, but not this day. There is a church building on the other side of their backyard fence, and as I was looking out over the prairie behind it, something caught my eye. In the parking lot there was a flag pole. It stood about 25 feet high. At the top of the flagpole was a metal ball. My eye kept getting drawn back to that ball because I thought I saw something moving. I took out my cell phone camera and zoomed in on it. Turns out it was a little bird. As I watched this little creature, I was fascinated. The surface of the ball was not much bigger than the size of his body but there he sat like he didn't have a care in the world. He felt safe. I told God I wanted that kind of confidence. After a few minutes, I looked up and the bird was gone. In that moment I heard the Lord speak to my heart and say, “You already have everything you need to spread your wings and fly.” The only difference between me and that little bird was, he believed it. Each of us has a calling or a purpose. Mine is to share lessons I have learned to offer hope and encouragement to others. I didn't accept it for a long time because I felt unworthy. How could someone so broken be used to help others? It's because there is a God in heaven who loves us and created us for such a time as this. We don't have to be perfect. God uses the broken and the weak to shame the strong. He looks at the heart and only asks that we be willing. We just need to take that first step. My step may be different from yours and some of us will take baby steps, and that's ok. We will still be moving forward. So my friend, I'm talking to myself as I encourage you. We already have everything we need so let's lift up our heads, give Him the fear, the guilt, the shame, and spread our wings and fly!

The Last Straw

By Eileen Glotfelty • September 20, 2026
It was November 2001. The world was still reeling from grief with the effects of 911. Even though my world wasn't affected by 911, it was still reeling in grief.  The love of my life was lying in the hospital on a ventilator living out his last days. I didn't know how many were left and I was clinging to the fact that it wasn't too late for a miracle. On that particular day, I had gone to be with him. Every time I went, I would stand by his bedside and read Psalm 91 to him as tears rolled down my face. Psalm 91 talks about God being our refuge and our strength and how He covers us. He likens it to a bird tucking his young under his wing to protect it. It goes on to say how He gives us angels to guard us and toward the end He says, “He will call on Me and I will answer him. I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him.” (Psalm 91:4, 15 NIV) I didn't realize how I would soon see those words come to pass. When I left the hospital, I got in our old car that someone had graciously given us. It had seen its better days, but we were thankful. On that night, however, the engine decided not to turn over. It was the last straw and I sat there with grief and despair washing over me. I couldn't even begin to think what to do. It was maybe a few minutes later that I looked up to see a friend from church walking toward my car. She had come to visit my husband and saw me sitting there. She knew her way around cars and she was familiar with mine. Within five minutes she had me open the trunk and pushed a button that I didn't know existed. The car started immediately. Apparently it was a safety feature of some kind that cut off fuel to the engine. To say I was grateful is an understatement. Some would say it was a coincidence, but I say it was my God tucking me under His wing and delivering me in trouble. He led that woman who knew about the button in the trunk to be there at the right time. He saw my pain. He knew I had reached my limit, and He met me in my grief and despair. I hope my story will encourage you if you are facing an impossible situation. God knows. He never takes His eyes off of you. I learned that my last straw is not His. He will tuck you under His wing and bring you through.

Key to the Heart

By Eileen Glotfelty • August 9, 2026
Keys, you never see their significance until you lose one. A few years ago I was downsizing from a large home to a smaller, more manageable one. I lived in that house for 20 years and now that the kids were grown and gone, it was time to let it go. As I was sorting through years worth of “stuff,” I came across an old can full of keys. At one point, each of those keys had a specific purpose. Some unlocked doors, some unlocked cars and some unlocked things that are still a mystery to this day, but each one unlocked something that needed to be protected and kept safe. As I sat there looking at this container of keys, I had to decide whether to keep them in the hope that they would still be needed some day or to accept the fact that since they had been sitting in that can for years, unused, it was ok to throw them out. I chose the latter. All of us are holding onto a key, whether we realize it or not. It’s the key to our heart. That key is a precious gift. It was meant to be opened by one person and when we put it in the wrong hands, we walk away disappointed and broken. I’ve been there. Maybe you have too. I was reading in the book of Mark, Chapter 11, verse 17 (NIV), about Jesus turning over the tables in the marketplace. I used to think that it was because He was so offended that He let His anger take over. That’s true, but what He was actually doing was restoring order. A sacred place that He loved was being turned into “a den of robbers,” as Jesus called it. Something that was precious and sacred was being defiled and He was taking it back and making it right. This story made me see that it’s never too late to take back the key from those who didn’t deserve it and give it to the One who gave it to me. Jesus handed it to me when He died on the cross and He’s given me the choice to return it. Why haven’t I done it before this? Truthfully, it’s because I was afraid. I wanted control and I thought by giving it to Him, He would ask me to do things out of my comfort zone and love people that I didn’t want to love. I gave my key to the people I thought I could control and I would be safe. I’ve lived my life in chaos because of it. So Jesus, I give you the key to my heart. It’s rusty and bent Lord, but I know You can restore it. Forgive me for giving it to those who didn’t deserve it and looking for the love that only You could give me. Open my heart to Your will and put the broken pieces back together. If tables need to be turned over, turn them over. I surrender control to You. Help me to trust You and love You with all my heart.