From Knowing God to Believing in God

For many years I have been involved in ministry, from teaching Sunday School, to working on the staff of a church, to now running a counseling ministry. I knew a lot about God. I knew the Bible said that He loves me and that He sent His son to die for my sins so I could have access to Him. I knew that the Bible says He will never leave me or forsake me. I knew all the verses on fear and anxiety. Cast them on Him because He cares for me and come to Him when I am burdened and He will give me rest. Fear not for I am with you. Perfect love casts out all fear. Even if I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I don’t need to fear. I knew them all; memorized them, quoted them and prayed about them. With all this knowledge why then did I worry about everything? Why did I get mad when I couldn’t control certain circumstances? Why did I have fears that were sometimes paralyzing? I would take my scriptures and I would pray my little heart out. Please God, take away my fear and help me, Lord, not to stress over tomorrow. Help me, Lord, not to wake up in the middle of the night in a panic because I wasn’t sure if I said the wrong thing to someone or maybe a made a mistake at work or better yet, what if I got fired? I have seen God’s hand in my life and how He stepped in and turned me around. I have seen how He was using the things the enemy meant for evil and now He was getting the glory. I saw how He saved my marriage and taught me how to love my daughter and how to love my husband even when I didn’t “feel” like it. Yep, what was I missing? I knew all the right scriptures, but I still lived in a life of negative thinking, fear and worry. It just didn’t make sense to me. I didn’t know what else I needed to do. 

I had also been in a process of learning why I was struggling. Growing up I didn’t know what it was like to be loved or to have someone in my life that thought the world of me or someone I could trust that would always be there when I needed them. I always felt alone and scared of life. So, when people would tell me to “Trust God”, I would intellectually tell myself that I need to trust God, but how? I would literally beg God to show me who He was. I wanted to really know (heart know) Him. 

One day, I had a strong feeling I should read the Old Testament with a purpose! I knew it must be God impressing this upon my heart as reading the Old Testament was a difficult task for me. I didn’t understand it and I didn’t really see its relevance in my life for today. But I felt as if I was supposed to start reading and write down every time I saw God active in the Israelites lives. I believe I may have started in Kings; I don’t really remember where I started but I was blown away by how often God was involved in everything they were doing. Sometimes, He would put thoughts in their minds, and sometimes, He would put thoughts in the minds of others about them. He would provide for them and be with them to fight battles that were impossible to fight to the human eye. He would protect them from enemies, and He would allow them the consequences for their disobedience. I just kept writing and writing to the point that I had to just start underlining because I was constantly writing!

Then I got it! I remember closing my Bible and I said, “ok Lord! In the Old Testament, the Israelites were Your children. You are God and You can choose whoever You want. But now You say that You have chosen me. I have been grafted in and You have made a way for me to be Your child. And if You are that active in the Israelites lives, then You want to be that active in mine.” It was that moment that I took what I knew in my head and decided to believe it. God is not earthly, He is God. He is perfect and His love for me is perfect. I didn’t have to ask God to help me not to worry because He told me not to worry. I didn’t have to ask God to be with me because He told me in His Word that He is with me, and He will never leave me or forsake me. I don’t have to ask God to take my burdens from me, I can just give them to Him and then I can expect He will give me rest because He said He would. I don’t have to ask God to help me not to have fear because He told me I don’t have to fear. That day my life forever changed. God is active in my life, every part of my life. He knows everything about me, and He sees every decision and path I choose. I trust Him to guide me in the way He wants to guide and lead me. I can now see God in all that I do. He is faithful even when I am not!

For years I imagined God as a person; a sinful human being who would only disappoint me, punish me and judge me. God is spirit (John 4:24). My favorite verse is Psalm 139:7-12:

Where can I go from your Spirit?

Where can I flee from your presence?

If I go up to the heavens, you are there;

if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.

If I rise on the wings of the dawn,

if I settle on the far side of the sea,

even there your hand will guide me,

Your right hand will hold me fast.

If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me

and the light become night around me,”

even the darkness will not be dark to you;

the night will shine like the day,

for darkness is a light to you.

I write this to encourage you on your journey. If you struggle, as I did for many years, with knowing about God, in your head, but not believing him, in your heart, tell him! He already knows and He will lead you to a place where He will reveal to you who He is. (Luke 11:10)

It's Not The End

By Eileen Glotfelty • May 23, 2026
Are you one of those people who like to read the end of the story before finishing the book? This morning I've been sitting here feeling overwhelmed by life. There are things that are out of my control and a lot of uncertainty. For someone who likes to have a plan, it's my worst nightmare. God's word says that He finishes what He starts and He will complete the good work in me (Philippians 1:6 NIV). I struggle with that when I can't see the finish line. God's word also says He's the Alpha and the Omega which means He is the beginning and the end (Rev 22:13 NIV). To me, that means that He sees it all. He knew where I would be on any given day. He knew my circumstances before I did, but unlike me, He's not worrying and overcome with anxiety because He sees the end. So, once again, I have a choice to make. I can sit here overwhelmed because I can't see the way out, or, I can trust the One who can. Will I choose hope or despair? This leads me to faith which is choosing to believe even though we can't see the outcome. I had to ask myself where I was putting my faith. Hope and faith work together. No amount of striving can earn them. Each one of us has access to them. All we have to do is ask the One who freely gives. Jesus, I know you've written my story and You know how it ends. Everything in this life is temporary. Even though I can't see the end, help me to rest in the fact that You do and I can trust You with my life.

The Lost Sheep

By Eileen Glotfelty • May 11, 2026
A few weeks ago I shared about my estranged child. Mother's Day came and went without a word. I spent the day wondering/hoping I would hear something. I didn't expect a phone call but maybe a text. I told myself not to have any expectations, but I still did. I was almost angry at myself for thinking maybe this year would be different. This morning I sat here talking to the Lord. He wants me to be honest with Him so I didn't try to hide the sorrow and the rejection. I told Him I was hurt and I had to forgive my child once again. He reminded me that I had three other children who hadn't forgotten me and made me feel loved and honored, so why was the rejection of one so painful? It was then I remembered the story of the lost sheep. For those of you who aren't familiar with it, it's about a shepherd who has a flock of a hundred sheep. One of them goes astray and the shepherd leaves the ninety-nine to go find it. It was a gentle reminder that He will never give up on my child and He loves Him more than I could imagine. In the same way, God will never give up on any of us. No matter how much we run or push Him away, He will never leave us. I needed that encouragement, maybe you do too.

The Prodigal

By Eileen Glotfelty • April 19, 2026
For those of you who have a prodigal child, you're not alone. What I mean by prodigal is a child who has turned their back on you and put up walls of defense. It came as a surprise, a shock actually. I should've seen it coming but after years of butting heads, I truly thought we were in a better place. The revelation came in a letter where thoughts and feelings were shared. I felt my spirit being crushed as I read it and my heart broke. I know I wasn't the perfect mother. I had struggles and behaviors that had followed me since childhood. I had resolved never to treat my children the way I was treated, but how many of us know that sadly it still happens, but in a different way. When you have a prodigal, it's not about forgiveness and reconciliation, it's about the pain they feel we've inflicted and they can't let go of it. I keep hoping that some day, things will change but there's no guarantee as it takes two surrendered hearts that are open to be healed. It's been four years now since I received that letter. I have grieved in a way I never have before and there were times I didn't think I would make it through. It's a different kind of grief because you know it can change but it's out of your control. It's been a process and I've experienced rejection, abandonment, guilt and shame but it brought me to a place where I knew it was going to keep me in a prison of pain if I didn't surrender it to God so He could heal my heart. The Bible has a story about a prodigal son. Even though the son went his own way and abandoned his father, his father never gave up hope. When the son had an “aha” moment and realized how foolish he had been, he humbled himself and returned home. This is my favorite of the story: “So he got up and went to his father. “But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him. Luke 15:20 NIV” This is how God greets everyone who returns to Him, no matter what they've done. I pray I would react the same way with my son. If you have a prodigal, my heart goes out to you, but just know that God sees you and your child. He is working behind the scenes as He is a God of redemption and reconciliation. He will heal your broken heart and give you the strength to hold on.